21 Ways to Make Your Life Miserable 

  1. Believe that, as a human being, you are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
  2. Believe that, as a citizen of the wealthiest country in the world, you have the right to free health care, free education, and a comfortable standard of living.
  3. Believe that your parents’ failures at parenting account for your shortcomings.
  4. Believe that you have a right NOT to be offended.
  5. Keep a mental record of the harms others have done to you.
  6. Keep a mental record of anyone doing better than you that doesn’t deserve to be.
  7. Postpone or avoid experiences that take you out of your comfort zone.
  8. Be attentive to aging. Imagine that every ache and pain is another sign of your senescence.
  9. When listening to others, think about how what they are saying applies to you.
  10. Try to improve your financial situation by befriending wealthier people.
  11. Try to improve your emotional situation by climbing the social ladder.
  12. Allow bullies to bully you.
  13. Spend time with people that you don’t like or admire.
  14. Socialize with people that don’t like or admire you.
  15. Depend on your spouse, your family, or your friends for your self-esteem.
  16. Depend on anyone but yourself for your financial wellbeing.
  17. Do work that you don’t value.
  18. Forgo learning for amusement.
  19. Think about yourself… incessantly.
  20. When you have the choice, always take the easier path.
  21. See yourself, unconsciously, at the center of the universe.