How to Win Countries and Influence Prices

Invade a peaceful country
Because you want world peace
Throw a welcome bash
Bring paper hats and pepper spray

If the survivors hate you
Teach appreciation
With cudgels and curfews
Show them you care

Remind them how bad it
Was before you saved them
Show them photos of life
Before you won their hearts

Be brutally sincere
Benignly persistent
Subjects are like children
They need some instruction

Invite each one
To the salvation ball
Provide transportation
Bring gas and lock the doors

Let the world know you
Cannot be defeated
But just in case of snags
Bring party favors and body bags