Bits and Pieces 

Ideas I’ve Been Chewing Over Recently…

Revolution vs. Evolution 

* Revolution is loud and fast. Evolution is quiet and slow.

* Revolution causes change, but mostly superficial change that is easily and often reversed. This is not true for evolution because evolution is not a cause, but a result.

* Revolution is linear. It moves forward and then back. Evolution moves like a river or sometimes like a switchback up a mountain.

* Evolution is deeply set and long lasting. Revolution is superficial and temporary.

Rationality 

* Rationality has two fundamental components: discrimination and integration.

* Discrimination is logical. Integration is analogical.

* Discrimination helps us understand how things are. Integration helps us imagine how they might be.

* One cannot have a fully functional mind without continually engaging in both processes.

Human Expression 

* The human being has three primary modes of expression: language, music, and physical movement.

* The primary function of language is to discriminate.

* The primary function of music is to integrate.

* Only physical movement is capable of both.

For the New Year, If You Dare:

Make a Deal with Your Inner Devil 

I discovered it nearly 40 years ago. I was 32 – five years into what was promising to be a comfortable but unremarkable career. I wanted more. Much more. And I wanted many mores. I was destined to get few or none of them. But when I put this secret to use, my life changed immediately and enormously.

I’m talking about establishing a singular goal in life and adhering to a hyper-focused routine. I’m talking about giving up – at least until that primary goal is achieved – all other goals and ambitions. It is a deal you make with the devil inside you. It almost certainly means neglecting friends and family. And it might turn you into someone you don’t want to be. But it has the virtue of being simple. And extremely powerful. It will definitely give you the best possible chance of achieving that one thing you want more than anything else.

It worked for me, quickly and completely. I crashed through my initial goal and then exceeded it by 20,000%. But like all deals with the devil, it changed me. And it could have ruined me. In my 50th year, I abandoned it and began to work on other goals and achieve more balance in my life.

I never put a name to it. But I can say that it is an emanation of “The Power of One.” Probably the most important one.

It’s putting the immense power of singularity towards radically changing some important aspect of your life – your health, your wealth, your social life, or your personal life. If you think you’d like to harness this power for a change in your life, here is how it goes:

1. Make a list of 50 aspirations.
2. Narrow that list to 10. Consciously and purposefully, let go of the other 40.
3. Narrow the list of 10 to 3. Consciously and purposefully, let go of the other 7.
4. Narrow the list of 3 to 1. Consciously and purposefully, let go of the other 2.
5. Confirm, in some formal way, your one and only goal. Let the people you care about know that, until you achieve this goal, it will be your top priority.
6. Create a multi-year plan to achieve it.
7. Break that plan into one-year goals. Then into monthly goals. Then weekly goals. And, finally, into daily tasks.
8. Spend the first hour of every day – and 80% of your spare time – pursuing that one objective.
9. Do your best, with the 20%, to keep everything else you value from falling apart.

Good Bye, Bill. I Won’t Miss You! 

I’ve not lived there for 40 years, but in some ways, I still consider myself a New Yorker. Like most expatriates, I identify with everything that is great about the city. And there used to be so much. Lately, however, it has devolved in several critical respects. It has become, in the memorable verbiage of our former president, a metropolitan shithole. This is largely due to the woke politics of Bill DeBlasio and a cast of cronies, including the infamous AOC. For example:

* From 2012 to 2018, 200,000 left the city. In 2021, 300,000 fled, most of them high-income earners.

* New York has also lost many big and vibrant businesses due to higher taxes and soaring crime. And it has lost hundreds of restaurants and retail stores due to the COVID lockdown.

* Murders are up 50%. Rapes are up 25%. Even my wokest friends, loyal denizens of the city, feel it’s unsafe to take a walk at night.

* Plus, New York has become the dirtiest city in the country. Its infrastructure is crumbling. Its sanitation is Third World.

Yes, it’s a shithole right now. But it can recover. The Big Apple has been rotten before. It was a dirty, dangerous shithole when I was in my teens. And it came back beautifully from that. Its best hope is its new mayor, Eric Adams. He’s got his work cut out for him. But as a former policeman, he seems to understand that the first priority in fighting crime is a belief in law and order. Whether he will actually do anything about that remains to be seen.

Meanwhile, in California…

Easy-on-Crime Policies Continue to Spur Both Violent Crime and Theft 

Since George Gascón took office as LA’s Attorney General 13 months ago, the city has seen a 50+% spike in homicides and a 16+% jump in aggravated assaults. Carjackings and auto thefts are up more than 50%. So is just about every other type of crime. And former LA District Attorney Steve Cooley says that these numbers may be understated because the public has lost faith in the justice system.

In San Francisco, more than 50 prosecutors, support, and victim services staff have quit their jobs since District Attorney Chesa Boudin began implementing his progressive criminal justice policies. (Boudin campaigned on a platform to end mass incarceration, eliminate cash bail, and vowed to create a panel to review sentencing and potential wrongful convictions.)

“The office is imploding,” said a former prosecutor who produced the list of those who’ve left their jobs since Boudin was sworn into office on Jan. 10, 2020.

Another Busybody Bad Idea 

When you hear about some new trend in criminality or social stupidity, you may react as I sometimes do: “There should be a law!”

The problem with such thinking is that it is reactionary and, therefore, superficial. It does not take into account all the possible unintended and undesired consequences. Many of those consequences result in less personal freedom. And that matters. Individual freedom is the bedrock of a strong and prosperous society. It supports political fairness, social health, justice, and economic growth.

A small but typical example: In response to gas prices tripling in 1974, the Nixon administration passed the Emergency Highway Energy Conservation Act that mandated a national speed limit of 55 mph. Until then, speed limits had varied state to state, and went as high as 80 mph on long stretches of road in the West. It was projected to decrease national gas consumption by roughly 2.2%.

You wouldn’t think that a 2.2% reduction would be worth such a restrictive federal mandate, but it was implemented. It resulted in billions of dollars in additional transportation costs. And, it turned out, the actual reduction was only one-tenth of 2.2%.

In 1987, the national speed limit was officially raised to 65 mph. And by 1995, the law was fully repealed, returning control of speed limits to the individual states.

Prediction: If the Biden administration succeeds in either federal vaccine mandates or federal voting mandates, they will prove equally ineffective, will have all kinds of undesired consequences, and will be repealed in fewer than 10 years.

Meta-Nation Update: Twitter Banishes Non-Compliant Citizens 

In an essay titled “What You Need to Know Right Now About the Metaverse,” I said that the metaverses of the future will act as meta-nations, controlling their ersatz citizens through shunning and banishment. Here is an update on how it’s already happening:

* Grabien News was suspended by Twitter last month for posting a video of a US Congressman (Rep. Andy Biggs) criticizing pharmaceutical corporations. “Obviously, in this case,” said Grabien founder Tom Elliott, “quoting an elected leader on an issue that matters to everyone is important and newsworthy, regardless of whether you agree…. This is “next-level Twitter absurdity.”

* Dr. Robert Malone, who helped develop the mRNA vaccine technology, was suspended Jan. 3 for allegedly violating Twitter’s terms and conditions. On Jan. 2, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s personal Twitter page had been suspended for similar reasons.

* Former New York Times journalist Alex Berenson filed a lawsuit against Twitter after his account, which had amassed hundreds of thousands of followers, was banned.

* And last month, former CEO Jack Dorsey resigned from his position at Twitter, sparking concern that the San Francisco-based company would take a tougher stance on what content can be posted.

Literary Books Entering the Public Domain in 2022 

Over the last two years, several dozen great works of literature have entered the public domain. That means you can sell these books – or turn them into movies – without paying royalties. As of Jan. 1, 2022, the following books (all published in 1926) were added to the list:

* Willa Cather, My Mortal Enemy

* Agatha Christie, The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

* William Faulkner, Soldiers’ Pay

* Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

* Ernest Hemingway, The Torrents of Spring

* Zora Neale Hurston, Color Struck

* D.H. Lawrence, The Plumed Serpent

* D.H. Lawrence, The Rocking-Horse Winner

* T.E. Lawrence, Seven Pillars of Wisdom

* A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

* Vladimir Nabokov, Mary

* Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

* Franz Kafka, Das Schloss (The Castle)

* Vita Sackville-West, The Land

Worth Quoting 

Gus D’Amato, the legendary trainer of Mike Tyson and other top boxers, on courage:

“I tell my kids, what is the difference between a hero and a coward? What is the difference between being [cowardly] and being brave? No difference. Only what you do. They both feel the same. They both fear dying and getting hurt. The man who is [cowardly] refuses to face up to what he’s got to face. The hero is more disciplined and he fights those feelings off and he does what he has to do. But they both feel the same, the hero and the coward. People who watch you judge you on what you do, not how you feel.”

(Source: Bad Intentions: The Mike Tyson Story​)

Words to the Wise 

* A word I’ve always misunderstood: jejune.  I’ve always thought, correctly, that it is related to the French word juene, as in young. And, thus, means “childish or immature.” In fact, it derives from the Latin jejunus, which means “fasting.” As in empty. Thus, its primary meaning is “insubstantial or lacking substance.” Childish and immature are secondary synonyms, but the more common denotation is banal or insipid.

* A word I’m going to use next time I’m in Istanbul: dragoman. A dragoman is a professional guide for travelers, especially when Arabic, Turkish, or Persian is spoken.

* A word I’m going to use next time I see someone wolfing down a meal: ingurgitate. To ingurgitate is to swallow something greedily.

Letters to the Editor 

From a reader after a visit to Rancho Santana…

“The people at Rancho Santana are so nice and welcoming. The food was delicious and I loved how everything is so sustainable and fresh. The beautiful beaches and scenery transcend you immediately when you arrive. Great energy, beauty, and fun. And the spa is absolutely incredible!” – SB

I was not much of a reader as a child.

I preferred to spend my time outdoors, playing. In my teens, I kept very busy building things, playing sports, and starting clubs and businesses. But not reading.

I don’t believe I had read more than a half-dozen books by the time I entered college. Since I was determined at that point to be an A-student, I had to read. A lot. So, I began a lifelong journey of reading as much as I could bear.

That meant a weekly consumption of dozens of articles and essays, multiple textbook chapters, and at least one full book.

Had I been a fast reader, it would have been easy. But because I had undiagnosed (at the time) dyslexia and OCD, it was an effort. I had to teach myself how to read efficiently. And I did.

These days, I read at least 1,000 essays each year, 10 times as many briefs on subjects of interest, and a book a month, or 50 books a year.

I’ve never had a system for selecting books to read. Some come from reviews. Some are award winners (The Booker Prize, the National Book Critics Circle Award, and the National Book Awards – but not Pulitzer or Nobel). Some are follow-ups on favorite authors. Some are classics I failed to read when I was younger. A few come from friends and colleagues. And the rest by randomly picking out books from my libraries.

For 2022, I thought I’d try something different: preselect 38 books (50 minus the 12 book club selections = 38). And read those.

I spent a day last week reviewing about a dozen “Best Books of 2021” lists, including The New York Times, Literary Hub, Good Reads, The New Yorker, and Esquire magazine.

From that group of more than 100, I found 30 that seemed promising, which I’ve listed below. (I left the descriptions pretty much as I found them.)

Bits and Pieces 

The End of the World As We Know It 

On December 17, I gave you my two cents on one of 2021’s hottest topics – the Metaverse. I said it’s real. It’s hugely important. And it’s already in motion.

Battles will be fought. Fortunes will be made. The world as we know it will be transformed. And a surprising amount of this will happen in the next 10 years.

Since it is something that is changing our lives, I am going to bring you bits and pieces of news on the Metaverse when I come across them. Here are a few:

* TikTok, the 2016 Chinese app, became the world’s most visited social media platform in 2021, according to Cloudfire. Shockingly, it surpassed even Alphabet’s Google.  Click here.

* TikTok was already huge in China when it caught fire in the US in 2020, thanks to mindlessly entertaining videos, such as Idaho resident Nathan Apodaca skateboarding and drinking Ocean Spray cranberry juice while listening to Fleetwood Mac. Click here.

 Seems Like Tilted Justice 

On a brief rabbit hole dive last week, I happened upon two stories about justice that seemed equally out of step with my expectations.

In one case, a truck driver was given a 110-year jail sentence for a deadly accident.

In another case, a bodybuilder on a steroid rage got only 14 years for brutally beating and stabbing his girlfriend.

No, It’s Not Covid…

Fentanyl-related drug overdoses became the top killer in adults aged 18 to 45, overtaking suicides, vehicle accidents, and gun violence, according to an analysis of CDC data by the nonprofit group Families Against Fentanyl.

Fentanyl is a synthetic opioid that can be 50 to 100 times more potent than morphine. It is highly addictive, and increasingly deadly. The reason it’s so deadly is that it’s used in all sorts of illegal drugs (most commonly pain killers like Oxycodone), and users are often unaware that their drug of choice has been laced with it.

According to the DEA, most fentanyl is manufactured in Mexico using chemicals supplied from China and trafficked across the southern border by Mexican drug cartels.

You can learn more about fentanyl use by going to Families Against Fentanyl.

Did Fauci Torture Beagles? 

 You may have heard that the agency headed by Dr. Fauci (the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases) is in the business of torturing dogs. Or you may have heard that this story was fake news. And have you ever heard of meta-myths?

Click here to read a brilliant report on the heights and depths of bias in news reporting today.

Pedophiles Deserve Respect Too! 

The latest from the super-Woke is a campaign to wake up America to the fact that pedophiles are not – as some think – monsters. No. They are very ordinary people with the same hopes, dreams, and desires as the rest of us. They just happen to be attracted to children.

I’m not kidding. Click here.

The NFT Market Blew Up in 2021 

In 2020, NFTs were the new kid on the wealth-seeking block. Skeptical investors bet $100 million on them. In 2021 – spurred by the $69 million purchase of an NFT “created” by some crackpot named Beeple – that number skyrocketed to $22 billion.

That brought in the hedge-fund art crazies that bid heavily at auction houses that started offering more NFT sales. Soon thereafter, even respected museums were selling NFTs based on some of their best-known and most valuable pieces.

Also in on the craze: Hollywood celebrities (e.g.,  Jimmy Fallon, Keanu Reeves), sports figures, and even Melania Trump.

According to DappRadar, $4 billion worth of NFTs were sold in the first half of the year. In the second half, a remarkable $18 billion.

Female Athletes Begin to Speak Out Against Competing With Transgender Athletes 

Most female athletes being pushed out of competition by biologically born males (who are much stronger and faster) say nothing, even as records in women’s sports are being advanced far beyond what any woman will ever be able to reach.

But recently, a young athletes have started to spoken out:

 And a US swimming official has just quit over this issue:

On a Lighter Note in the Male vs. Female Sports Universe… 

Two Olympic-level female gymnasts watching men performing gymnastic routines typically done by women:

Carl Sagan Was Right 

Carl Sagan talking to Johnny Carson in 1995 about what the world would look like in 2021:

Master Ken Appears Again! 

Here’s Renato Tavares, one of my Brazilian Jiu Jitu professors, posing with Master Ken, my favorite martial arts comedian:

 The Holiday Suicide Myth 

It’s a myth that suicides spike around the holidays. So says my friend and colleague Dr. David Eifrig.

The truth, he says, is that November and December see the fewest suicides.

What does increase during the holidays?

Depression, he says. Depression rates rise around the winter holidays for a simple reason – stress. And since stress is a major contributor to mental and physical health problems, there’s an increase in all death rates in January and February.

Urban Violence Update 

On December 20, ,  I reported on the increase in violent crime in just about every large American city. Mayors of those cities, who once advocated defunding the police, are talking tough. Still, the violence continues. Here are a few recent stories that are especially embarrassing for said mayors:

* Congresswoman carjacked in broad daylight in Philadelphia. Click here.

* Illinois state senator carjacked in suburban Chicago. Click here.

* Mayor Lightfoot pleads for federal help after having refused it from Trump. Click here.

Speaking of Violence…

By a wide margin, most violent crimes are committed by males between the ages of 16 and 40. But in researching the above urban-violence stories, I came across these rather bizarre acts of violence by and against women:

 * Woman who shot at car thought she was recorded urinating in parking lot. Click here.

* Female officer brutally attacked by suspect high on PCP. Click here.

* Pregnant librarian killed in alleged road rage shooting. Click here.

Worth Quoting: Writers on the Craft of Writing

* “The difference between good and great is often an extra round of revision. The person who looks things over a second time will appear smarter or more talented, but actually is just polishing things a bit more. Take the time to get it right. Revise it one extra time.” – James Clear

* “I thought of myself as like the jazz musician: someone who practices and practices and practices in order to be able to invent and to make his art look effortless and graceful. I was always conscious of the constructed aspect of the writing process, and that art appears natural and elegant only as a result of constant practice and awareness of its formal structures.” – Toni Morrison

Good and Bad Conversations 

These days, good, productive conversations between people with differing views have become practically extinct.

This is what a bad conversation sounds like – Trevor Noah being interviewed by a Woke journalist:

This is what a good conversation sounds like – Russell Brand and Jordan Peterson:

3 Words to Consider 

* Orotund – a word I’ve long misunderstood: Yes, it does mean “round and full,” but not in the sense of the human body. It comes from the Latin ore rotundo (“with rounded mouth”), and refers to sound. Example: “My own voice, orotund sweeping and final.” (Walt Whitman) 

* Adventitious – a word I keep forgetting: It means occurring by chance or in an unusual place or manner. You use it to talk about things that just kind of happen. Example: “The adventitious beauty of poetry may be felt in the greater delight with a verse given in a happy quotation than in the poem.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

* Absquatulate – a word I absolutely must work into a future conversation: According to vocabulary.com, absquatulate “is a deeply silly word that means to make off with something or someone. Why say a thief ran away with your money when it’s much more fun to say he absquatulated with it? It came out of an odd fad in America in the 1830s for making playful words that sounded vaguely Latin. Bloviate and discombobulate are two other pseudo-Latin coinages from that era.”

Readers Write: Recent Letters to Moi 

 Comments on the holiday party advice article: 

“I almost choked laughing at the tips for holiday Christmas parties.” – MF

“I am guilty of at least three of the bad behaviors you warn against, including taking the after party to a karaoke bar!” – FL

Comments on the Old Man Humor issue: 

“I’m not an old man, but I thought some of those old man cartoons were hysterically funny!” – FC

 “Sounds like your Myrtle Beach group is a lot of fun. Thanks for the laughs.” – GP

“Yes, you and your friends are in need of humor repair intervention.” – AS

“Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every new year find you a better man.” – Benjamin Franklin

It’s customary for know-it-alls to issue predictions this time of year. I’ve done my part over the past 21 years of blog writing.

I took a gander at some of my predictions last night. What I discovered is something I wish I’d known at the outset. If you want to have the best possible record as a prophet, emulate the greatest and most famous prognosticator of all time: the legendary Nostradamus.

Nostradamus was a 16th century French doctor that practiced medicine during the Bubonic Plague. He was also an astrologer. But he’s best known for the predictions he made in his widely quoted Les Prophéties in 1555. And a cursory glance at Les Prophéties (which I did this morning) suggests that he followed four rules in foretelling the future:

1. Make the prediction with certitude.
2. The bigger and more shocking the better.
3. Keep the language vague.
4. And never, ever predict when it will happen.

Sure enough, when I look at my long-term, undated predictions, my record is perfect. None have come true yet. But none have not come true either.

During the early months of the COVID pandemic, I made several predictions about how the response to it would play out. For example, I said:

* The government, big tech, and the prestige media would continue to promote laws and regulations that restricted personal freedom in favor of social justice and public safety.

* In response to rising crime and higher taxes, there would be an exodus of businesses and wealthy people from New York, New Jersey, California, and Oregon to lower crime/ tax states such as Nevada, Texas, and Florida.

* The value of personal privacy would continue to erode as people became more and more comfortable signing waivers to apps – knowing little to nothing about what they were agreeing to.

* Political differences between Democrats and Republicans would become sharper and more acrimonious as civil courtesies among politicians continued to disappear.

I’d argue that I got those right. But I also got one wrong…

Eleven months prior to the presidential election, I speculated that the result would depend on whether the US voting public would be more frightened by the escalation of COVID or of violent crime. My prediction: By November, violent crime would be America’s number-one concern and, therefore, Trump would win a second term. But the mainstream media did an amazing job of scaring the shit out of otherwise rational people and Biden got the win.

So, what’s ahead of us this year?

Predictions for 2022 

1. The US economy will continue on its post-lockdown recovery, but the pace of growth will slow to nearly a crawl.
2. Higher prices for many of the products affected by the supply chain slowdown will abate, but energy costs will stay high and inflation generally will continue at about 4%.
3. Wage gains will be strong in the first quarter of the year, but will be dragging by the end of the year. Meanwhile, the value of those gains will diminish at 4+%.
4. Middle- and working-class Americans will become increasingly unhappy with the economy and with the Biden administration. Approval ratings for Biden and Harris will drop even lower than they are now, the lowest level for any presidential administration in modern times.
5. Government spending will continue, even after the Republicans regain control of the House and Senate. By the end of 2022, US debt will have topped $30 trillion.
6. The rash of smash-and-grab theft in San Francisco, Chicago, and other easy-on-crime cities will decline as politicians in such cities reverse their views on police funding and bail reform. But homicides and other violent crimes in African-American neighborhoods will continue unabated.
7. Throughout the rest of America, and particularly in suburban and agrarian areas, illegal drugs will continue to be a major problem, with drugs as the #1 killer of White males between the ages of 18 and 40.
8. Because of the relatively low virulence of the Omicron variant, Americans will continue to lose their fear of COVID. This will worry the Democrats, who secretly attributed their success in the last elections to that fear. So, as the 2022 elections draw near, the Biden administration, supported by the mainstream media, will make an effort to spike that fear, but unsuccessfully.
9. At the same, recognizing that the fear card isn’t working, liberals will crank up their newfound anger about urban violence, reversing their support of bail reform and calling for more police funding. Most of them will also disavow Black Lives Matter and Critical Race Theory.

Bonus: 5 Grim Predictions From Nostradamus 

For a grimmer perspective, we return to Nostradamus.

Like all good prognosticators, Nostradamus’s predictions are intentionally vague and open to myriad interpretations. For 2021, according to some of his fans, he predicted a zombie apocalypse. I think that one came true.

For 2022, he predicted inflation, saying that the price of food will rise so high “That man is stirred/ His fellow man to eat in despair.”

He also said that “a new sage with a lone brain” will emerge, “by his disciples invited to be immortal.” The New York Postsuggests that he must have been referring to Time magazine’s Person of the Year, Elon Musk.

Then there is his prediction of environmental disaster – 40 years of drought followed by 40 years of constant rain. “The dry earth will grow more parched/ And there will be great floods when [the rainbow] is seen.”

And most remarkably, according, again, to some fans, Nostradamus predicted the rise of cryptocurrencies: “The copies of gold and silver inflated/ Which after the theft were thrown into the lake/ At the discovery that all is exhausted and dissipated by the debt/ All scripts and bonds will be wiped out.”

9 Feelings You Will Experience in 2022 

I can see your future. For you, 2022 will be a year when you will come to see life as a disappearing stream of moments, each of which could be an opportunity. Furthermore, you will recognize each of these moments as…

1. Annoying or
2. Disappointing or
3. Hurtful or
4. Embarrassing or
5. Shameful or
6. Depressing or
7. Challenging or
8. New…

But most of them will be ordinary and, thus, invisible to you.

What to Do About Those Feelings 

1. Annoying moments: Ignore them.
2. Disappointing moments: Accept them.
3. Hurtful moments: Forgive them.
4. Embarrassing moments. Enjoy them.
5. Shameful moments: Redress them.
6. Depressing moments: Emerge from them.
7. Challenging moments: Embrace them.
8. Novel moments: Embrace them.

As for the ordinary/ invisible moments: See them.

There is no excuse for this. You will have to forgive me.

Once a year, I spend a week in Myrtle Beach with 6 or 8 of my high school friends (Class of 1968). It’s something we enjoy and look forward to. Myrtle Beach is an annual event, but we keep in touch throughout the year via group emails. These consist almost entirely of what is commonly called “dad jokes.” But I fear it’s worse than that since our children, who accuse us of being sentimental and corny, are themselves dads.

The following is a curated list of the best of at least 1,000 pieces received in 2021. In going through them, I did my best to choose only the most sophisticated. You be the judge.

Elf (2003)

Directed by Jon Favreau

Starring Will Ferrell, James Caan, Bob Newhart, Edward Asner

Critics: 85% positive; Audience: 79%

Critics Consensus: A movie full of Yuletide cheer, Elf is a spirited, good-natured family comedy, and it benefits greatly from Will Ferrell’s funny and charming performance as one of Santa’s biggest helpers.

 Synopsis: Buddy (Will Ferrell) was accidentally transported to the North Pole as a toddler and raised to adulthood among Santa’s elves. Unable to shake the feeling that he doesn’t fit in, the adult Buddy travels to New York, in full elf uniform, in search of his real father. As it happens, this is Walter Hobbs (James Caan), a cynical businessman. After a DNA test proves this, Walter reluctantly attempts to start a relationship with the childlike Buddy with increasingly chaotic results.

 Tangerine (2015)

Directed by Sean Baker

Starring Kitana Kiki Rodriguez, Mya Taylor, Karren Karagulian, Mickey O’Hagan

Critics: 96% positive; Audience: 76%

Critics Consensus: Tangerine shatters casting conventions and its filmmaking techniques are up-to-the-minute, but it’s an old-fashioned comedy at heart – and a pretty wonderful one at that.

 Synopsis: After hearing that her boyfriend/pimp cheated on her while she was in jail, a hooker and her best friend set out to find him and teach him and his new lover a lesson.

A Christmas Story (1983)

Directed by Bob Clark

Starring Peter Billingsley, Darren McGavin, Melinda Dillon, Jan Petrella

Critics: 89% positive; Audience: 88%

Critics Consensus: Both warmly nostalgic and darkly humorous, A Christmas Story deserves its status as a holiday perennial.

 Synopsis: Based on the humorous writings of author Jean Shepherd, this beloved holiday movie follows the wintry exploits of youngster Ralphie Parker (Peter Billingsley), who spends most of his time dodging a bully (Zack Ward) and dreaming of his ideal Christmas gift, a “Red Ryder air rifle.” Frequently at odds with his cranky dad (Darren McGavin) but comforted by his doting mother (Melinda Dillon), Ralphie struggles to make it to Christmas Day with his glasses and his hopes intact.

Klaus (2019)

Directed by Sergio Pablos

Starring Jason Schwartzman, J.K. Simmons, Rashida Jones, Will Sasso

Critics: 94% positive; Audience: 96%

Critics Consensus: Beautiful hand-drawn animation and a humorous, heartwarming narrative make Klaus an instant candidate for holiday classic status.

Synopsis: A desperate postman accidentally brings about the genesis of Santa Claus.

Bad Santa (2003)

Directed by Terry Zwigoff

Starring Billy Bob Thornton, Tony Cox, Brett Kelly, Lauren Graham

Critics: 78% positive; Audience: 75%

Critics Consensus: A gloriously rude and gleefully offensive black comedy, Bad Santa isn’t for everyone, but grinches will find it uproariously funny.

Synopsis: In this dark comedy, the crotchety Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton) and his partner (Tony Cox) reunite once a year for a holiday con. Posing as a mall Santa and his elf, they rip off shopping outlets on Christmas Eve. This year, however, Willie is falling apart. He’s depressed and alcoholic, and his erratic behavior draws the suspicion of mall security (Bernie Mac). But when befriending a small boy brings out his kinder side, Willie begins to wonder if there is still some hope for him.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965)

Directed by Bill Melendez, Phil Roman

Starring Peter Robbins, Christopher Shea, Tracy Stratford, Sally Dryer

Critics: 88% positive; Audience: 81%

Critics Consensus: Not available.

Synopsis: Christmastime is here. Happiness and cheer. And for Peanuts fans everywhere, it just wouldn’t be Christmas without this classic holiday delight. Christmas lights may be twinkling red and green, but Charlie Brown has the Yuletide blues. To get in the holiday spirit, he takes Lucy’s advice and directs the Christmas play. And what’s a Christmas play without a Christmas tree? But everyone makes fun of the short, spindly nevergreen Charlie Brown brings back – until the real meaning of Christmas works its magic once again.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Directed by Brian Henson

Starring Michael Caine, Dave Goelz, Steve Whitmore, Jerry Nelson

Critics: 76% positive; Audience: 86%

Critics Consensus: It may not be the finest version of Charles Dickens’ tale to grace the screen, but The Muppet Christmas Carol is funny and heartwarming, and serves as a good introduction to the story for young viewers.

Synopsis: The Muppets perform the classic Dickens holiday tale, with Kermit the Frog playing Bob Cratchit, the put-upon clerk of stingy Ebenezer Scrooge (Michael Caine). Other Muppets – Miss Piggy, Gonzo, Fozzie Bear, and Sam the Eagle – weave in and out of the story, while Scrooge receives visits from spirits of three Christmases – past, present, and future. They show him the error of his self-serving ways, but the miserable old man seems to be past any hope of redemption and happiness.

Frosty the Snowman (1969)

Directed by Jules Bass, Arthur Rankin Jr.

Starring Jimmy Durante, Billy De Wolfe, Jackie Vernon, Paul Frees

Critics: 73% positive; Audience: 72%

Critics Consensus: Frosty the Snowman is a jolly, happy sing-along that will delight children with its crisp animation and affable title character, who makes an indelible impression with his corncob pipe, button nose, and eyes made out of coal.

Synopsis: A discarded magic top hat brings to life the snowman that a group of children made, until a magician, Professor Hinkle, wants it back, and the temperature starts to rise. Frosty will melt or no longer be a jolly soul if the kids cannot get him away from Hinkle and warm weather, so he hops a train to the North Pole with young Karen.

Mickey’s Christmas Carol (1983)

Directed by Burny Mattinson

Starring Alan Young, Wayne Allwine, Hal Smith, Will Ryan

Critics: 100% positive; Audience: 90%

Critics Consensus: Not available.

Synopsis: A retelling of the classic Dickens tale with Disney’s classic characters.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964)

Directed by Maury Laws, Larry Roemer

Starring Burl Ives, Larry D. Mann, Billie Mae Richards, Paul Soles

Critics: 95% positive; Audience: 80%

Critics Consensus: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is a yuletide gem that bursts with eye-popping iconography, a spirited soundtrack, and a heart-warming celebration of difference.

Synopsis: This stop-motion animagic version of the classic Christmas tale adds a bit of a twist when Rudolph encounters an abominable snowman.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas (1966)

Directed by Chuck Jones

Starring Boris Karloff, June Foray, Thurl Ravenscroft, Eugene Poddany

Critics: 100% positive; Audience: 95%

Critics Consensus: How the Grinch Stole Christmas brings an impressive array of talent to bear on an adaptation that honors a classic holiday story – and has rightfully become a yuletide tradition of its own.

Synopsis: This made-for-TV Christmas special is a classic. Based on a Dr. Seuss book, it is about a Christmas-hating Grinch who wants to make everyone as miserable on Christmas as he is. The poor, small-hearted Scrooge learns the true meaning of Christmas through the loving Whos in Whoville.

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)

Directed by Tim Burton

Starring Danny Elfman, Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara, William Hickey

Critics: 95% positive; Audience: 91%

Critics Consensus: The Nightmare Before Christmas is a stunningly original and visually delightful work of stop-motion animation.

Synopsis: The film follows the misadventures of Jack Skellington, Halloweentown’s beloved pumpkin king, who has become bored with the same annual routine of frightening people in the “real world.” When Jack accidentally stumbles on Christmastown, all bright colors and warm spirits, he gets a new lease on life: He plots to bring Christmas under his control by kidnapping Santa Claus and taking over the role. But Jack soon discovers even the best-laid plans of mice and skeleton men can go seriously awry.

Tokyo Godfathers (2003)

Directed by Satoshi Kon

Starring Yoshiaki Umegaki, Aya Okamoto, Toru Emori

Critics: 91% positive; Audience: 91%

Critics Consensus: Beautiful and substantive, Tokyo Godfathers adds a moving – and somewhat unconventional – entry to the animated Christmas canon.

Synopsis: Middle-aged alcoholic Gin (Toru Emori), teenage runaway Miyuki (Aya Okamoto) ,and former drag queen Hana (Yoshiaki Umegaki) are a trio of homeless people surviving as a makeshift family on the streets of Tokyo. While rummaging in the trash for food on Christmas Eve, they stumble upon an abandoned newborn baby in the bin. With only a handful of clues to the baby’s identity, the three misfits search the streets of Tokyo for help in returning the baby to its parents.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Directed by Jalmari Helander

Starring Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Ilmari Järvenpää, Peeter Jakobi

Critics: 90% positive; Audience: 70%

Critics Consensus: Rare Exports is an unexpectedly delightful crossbreed of deadpan comedy and Christmas horror.

Synopsis: A young boy named Pietari (Onni Tommila) and his friend Juuso (Ilmari Järvenpää) think a secret mountain drilling project near their home in northern Finland has uncovered the tomb of Santa Claus. However, this is a monstrous, evil Santa, much unlike the cheery St. Nick of legend. When Pietari’s father (Jorma Tommila) captures a feral old man (Peeter Jakobi) in his wolf trap, the man may hold the key to why reindeer are being slaughtered and children are disappearing.

Better Watch Out (2016)

Directed by Chris Peckover

Starring Levi Miller, Olivia DeJonge, Ed Oxenbould, Dacre Montgomery

Critics: 89% positive; Audience: 65%

Critics Consensus: Carried by its charismatic young cast, Better Watch Out is an adorably sinister holiday horror film.

Synopsis: Ashley travels to the suburban home of the Lerners to baby-sit their 12-year-old son Luke at Christmastime. She must soon defend herself and the young boy when unwelcome intruders announce their arrival.

Edward Scissorhands (1990)

Directed by Tim Burton

Starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest, Anthony Michael Hall

Critics: 90% positive; Audience: 91%

Critics Consensus: The first collaboration between Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, Edward Scissorhands is a magical modern fairy tale with gothic overtones and a sweet center.

Synopsis: A scientist (Vincent Price) builds an animated human being – the gentle Edward (Johnny Depp). The scientist dies before he can finish assembling Edward, though, leaving the young man with a freakish appearance accentuated by the scissor blades he has instead of hands. Loving suburban saleswoman Peg (Dianne Wiest) discovers Edward and takes him home, where he falls for Peg’s teen daughter (Winona Ryder). However, despite his kindness and artistic talent, Edward’s hands make him an outcast.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Directed by John McPhail

Starring Ella Hunt, Malcolm Cumming, Sarah Swire, Christopher Leveaux

Critics: 77% positive; Audience: 62%

Critics Consensus: Anna and the Apocalypse finds fresh brains and a lot of heart in the crowded zombie genre – not to mention a fun genre mashup populated by rootable characters.

Synopsis: A zombie apocalypse threatens the sleepy town of Little Haven – at Christmas – forcing Anna and her friends to fight, slash, and sing their way to survival, facing the undead in a desperate race to reach their loved ones. But they soon discover that no one is safe in this new world, and with civilization falling apart around them, the only people they can truly rely on are each other.

Your Christmas Gift: two poems to enjoy and share… 

The Oxen

By Thomas Hardy

Christmas Eve, and twelve of the clock.

“Now they are all on their knees,”

An elder said as we sat in a flock

By the embers in hearthside ease.

We pictured the meek mild creatures where

They dwelt in their strawy pen,

Nor did it occur to one of us there

To doubt they were kneeling then.

So fair a fancy few would weave

In these years! Yet, I feel,

If someone said on Christmas Eve,

“Come; see the oxen kneel,

“In the lonely barton by yonder coomb

Our childhood used to know,”

I should go with him in the gloom,

Hoping it might be so.

Thomas Hardy

(1840-1928)

Hardy’s long career spanned the Victorian and the modern eras. He described himself as a poet “who holds that if way to the Better there be, it exacts a full look at the Worst” and during his nearly 88 years he lived through too many upheavals – including World War I – to have become optimistic with age. Nor did he seem by nature to be cheerful: much of the criticism around his work concerns its existentially bleak outlook, and, especially during Hardy’s own time, sexual themes. (Source: The Poetry Foundation)

The Journey of the Magi

By T.S. Eliot

A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp,
The very dead of winter.’
And the camels galled, sorefooted, refractory,
Lying down in the melting snow.
There were times we regretted
The summer palaces on slopes, the terraces,
And the silken girls bringing sherbet.
Then the camel men cursing and grumbling
and running away, and wanting their liquor and women,
And the night-fires going out, and the lack of shelters,
And the cities hostile and the towns unfriendly
And the villages dirty and charging high prices:
A hard time we had of it.
At the end we preferred to travel all night,
Sleeping in snatches,
With the voices singing in our ears, saying
That this was all folly.

Then at dawn we came down to a temperate valley,
Wet, below the snow line, smelling of vegetation;
With a running stream and a water-mill beating the darkness,
And three trees on the low sky,
And an old white horse galloped away in the meadow.
Then we came to a tavern with vine-leaves over the lintel,
Six hands at an open door dicing for pieces of silver,
And feet kicking the empty wine-skins.
But there was no information, and so we continued
And arriving at evening, not a moment too soon
Finding the place; it was (you might say) satisfactory.

All this was a long time ago, I remember,
And I would do it again, but set down
This set down
This: were we led all that way for
Birth or Death? There was a Birth, certainly
We had evidence and no doubt. I had seen birth and death,
But had thought they were different; this Birth was
Hard and bitter agony for us, like Death, our death.
We returned to our places, these Kingdoms,
But no longer at ease here, in the old dispensation,
With an alien people clutching their gods.
I should be glad of another death.

T.S. Eliot

(1888-1965)

T.S. Eliot, the 1948 winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature, is one of the giants of modern literature, highly distinguished as a poet, literary critic, dramatist, and editor and publisher. In 1910 and 1911, while still a college student, he wrote four poems – “Portrait of a Lady,” “Preludes,” “Rhapsody on a Windy Night,” and “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock” – that introduce themes to which, with variation and development, Eliot returned time and again. One of the most significant is the problem of isolation, with attention to its causes and consequences in the contemporary world. (Source: The Poetry Foundation)

Bits and Pieces 

Remembering… Waiting for the Bus Back Home 

It was very exciting. My godmother, Jean Kerr, had gifted me a course in painting for my 14th birthday. The classes were given on Saturday mornings in Hempstead, about five miles north of my hometown of Rockville Centre.

Getting to and from the lessons by bus would cost 50 cents, 25 cents each way. For cleaning the bathroom once a week, my mother paid me 60 cents – enough to cover the bus fare with a dime to spare.

As far as I was concerned, it was a perfect situation. However, I didn’t anticipate two things.

1. The bus that would bring me home departed from the terminal about a half-hour after class, which meant I had to spend 25 minutes in the terminal, waiting for it.

2. There was a Pizza Parlor next to the waiting area.

I was, as most boys are at 14, always hungry. And the aroma wafting from the open windows of the pizza shop was irresistible. Having spent 25 cents on the morning bus, I had 35 cents left in my pocket. I could have a slice of pizza. Or I could take the bus home. I could not have both.

The first Saturday, I stayed strong – for almost 20 minutes – before yielding to temptation. My resolve weakened as each week passed. So, every Saturday, after wolfing down that slice of pizza, I was left with no choice but to pick up my bag of art supplies and head off on the 5-mile walk home.

My 90-minute walk included about 30 minutes of passing through a “bad part” of South Hempstead. I was eyed suspiciously and occasionally threatened by neighborhood kids, but never physically assaulted. Scaring me was probably enough “fun” for them. Still, I clutched my palette knife, which was about as dangerous as a plastic spoon, under my jacket sleeve until I reached Rockville Centre.

What I Believe About Stress, Self-Improvement, and Procrastination

A friend writes: “I didn’t really want to make that move. I was comfortable doing what I was doing, and it was working. But I had the sense that if I wanted to get to the next level, I had to make the leap. In retrospect, I’m glad I did.”

It’s a law of nature: Any effort to improve anything requires energy. This is especially true of self-improvement.

The energy needed to acquire knowledge and skill, to develop useful habits, and to strengthen the psyche has to be sufficient to overcome three ever-present hurdles: doubt, ignorance, and laziness.

The recognition of the energy required to overcome such hurdles is felt as stress. Stress is the inevitable emotional response between understanding what work is required to meet a goal and doing the work. The moment action is taken, stress diminishes.

I try to remember that every time I’m feeling stressed – and putting off – a challenging obligation. The second I begin to deal with it, I’ll start to feel better.

What I Believe: About Urban Violence in America 

12 major US cities have been seeing a significant rise in violent crime. In the lead is Chicago, with more than 800 homicides so far this year.

If Chicago is the leader in terms of gross numbers, Philadelphia takes the number one spot in terms of murders per capita. By the end of November, the city had racked up 525 murders. And with a population of 1.6 million, that’s a homicide rate of 33 murders per 100,000 people – more than four times higher than the 2020 US homicide rate of 7.8.

Other cities that broke their previous homicide records in 2021 include Portland, Oregon; Austin, Texas; Indianapolis, Indiana; Louisville, Kentucky; St. Paul, Minnesota; Albuquerque, New Mexico; Columbus, Ohio; Tucson, Arizona; and Rochester, New York. And that’s to say nothing of other violent crimes that soared in 2021, including non-lethal shootings, rapes, robberies, and physical assaults.

If you rely on the NYT, The Washington Post, or prestige TV for your news, you have probably heard little to nothing about this. That’s because these are largely Black-on-Black crimes that are taking place in Democratic-run cities with high percentages of African-Americans in their mayors’ offices, their police departments, and their court and judicial systems. Facts that do not support the Woke’s favorite theory: that every social problem in America is due to systemic racism.

Ironically, those same news sources have recently begun to report on a lesser crime – the pandemic of smash-and-grab lootings that have become common in many of these same cities.

Why report on theft but not homicides?

First, because the lootings have gone viral on social media. They are undeniable. But second, and more importantly, because they are taking place in the suburbs, upscale neighborhoods, and luxury retail centers where the Woke live.

The Best TED Talk Ever? 

Last week, I came across a TED Talk that was given in 2008 by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a scientist specializing in the anatomy of the nervous system. It was the first TED Talk to ever go viral on the internet.

You can watch it here.

When I saw it in 2008, I thought it was amazing and revelatory. When I watched it again this time, it was just as good.

In it, Dr. Taylor recounts what she learned about the way the brain works from her own experience with a massive stroke.

What I thought was interesting: 

She explains that the brain has two hemispheres that look identical but have very different roles.

* The Right Brain experiences life in the present moment. It perceives the world around us in a very fundamental way – sensing colors and shapes and odors and sound, but in a sort of blur, without distinctions.

* The Left Brain is the part of the brain that has self-consciousness, that says “I am.” It thinks with language, linearly and methodically. It collects details, compares them to past details, and makes future projections.

The stroke left her with a fully functioning Right Brain and a Left Brain that was only active momentarily – and even then, only partially. It left her in the sort of state one might experience when taking hallucinogenic drugs.

What I loved especially: 

* She could not define the boundaries of her body because the atoms and molecules of her arm felt disconnected from the atoms and molecules of the space around and between them. Because she could not demonstrate the boundaries of her body, she felt expansive, and that felt beautiful.

* She was not frightened by the experience, but felt stress-free and peaceful. The experience was almost euphoric. “I’m having a stroke,” she thought. “This is so cool!”

* And I love this quote from her: “We are the lifeforce power of the universe with two cognitive minds.”

I loved all this because it dovetails with a book I’ve been writing for 20 years. Working title: A Unified Theory of Life.

No Justice for Jussie Smollett 

It was the story of the year. Hollywood was outraged. The ladies on The View went berserk. Even President Biden and VP Harris tweeted their outrage. A “modern-day lynching,” she called it.

Not everyone was taken in.

* Dave Chappelle

* Candice Owen

* Tracy Morgan

3 Words That People Are Always Getting Wrong 

* Bemused sounds like it means amused. It actually means confused or bewildered. Example from At Home: A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson: “Nothing, however, bemused the Indians more than the European habit of blowing their noses into a fine handkerchief, folding it carefully, and placing it back in their pockets as if it were a treasured memento.”

* Nonplussed sounds like it should be a synonym for stoic or stolid. It’s actually one step beyond “bemused” – so confused/bewildered that you’re unsure how to react. Example from Moby Dick by Herman Melville: “Ignorance is the parent of fear, and being completely nonplussed and confounded about the stranger, I confess I was now as much afraid of him as if it was the devil himself who had thus broken into my room at the dead of night.”

* Noisome sounds like it means noisy. Actually, it has nothing to do with sound. It refers to odor. Something that is noisome has an offensive smell. (It’s related to the word “annoy.”) Example from Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare: “Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart unkissed.”

Worth Quoting 

* “Reality cannot be ignored except at a price; and the longer the ignorance is persisted in, the higher and the more terrible becomes the price that must be paid.” – Aldous Huxley

* “Think about what you want today and you’ll spend your time. Think about what you want in 5 years and you’ll invest your time.” – James Clear

* “Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn.” – Benjamin Franklin