Smelling the Roses

The most important thing I ever learned about “living rich” was taught to me by a former rich guy who dropped out of the moneymaking game to study Chinese philosophy.

Jeff and I have been friends since high school. Twenty-five years ago, when we were still relatively young men, we were partners in a merchandise vending business that was making lots of money. Jeff’s annual compensation was in the mid six-figure range.

One day, he quit. Since then, he has supported himself by doing consulting and teaching Chinese martial arts. His departure from business did not diminish our relationship in any way. Rather, it allowed us to pursue different careers and compare notes along the way.

I’ve written about Jeff before. He is a serious and careful thinker. And whenever we get together, we enjoy ongoing conversations about topics that interest us both.

We talk about ontology. We talk about sexuality. We talk about aging and health. One thing we rarely discuss is money. But once, the subject did come up.

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Reading is More Engrossing Than Watching TV or Videos

Reading is more engrossing than watching movies, TV, or videos. It takes more energy. It demands more attention. It requires imagination. And all of that is both pleasurable and useful to the brain. One of the particular advantages of reading is that it is easy to pause and reflect. How often, when reading a book, do you put it down for a moment to ponder some thought suggested by what you just read? This doesn’t happen when you are at the movies. It doesn’t even happen at home when you have a remote control in your hands.

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The Burden of Animosity

It is a burden to hate your enemies. It takes energy, sometimes a great deal of it. Hate (as well as envy, its little sister) distracts you from other, more productive endeavors. And it eventually consumes the best part of your self.

This is true in all aspects of life but is perhaps least forgivable in business. Business decisions should be rational. They should be somewhat intuitive but not encumbered by prejudices or other negative emotions.

I know businesspeople whose careers have been greatly hampered by envy and/or hate. RP and SA are two examples. They seem to spend half their creative time tracking the activities of competitors whose success they resent. They are always hoping to find evidence of wrongdoing or weakness or failure. I can’t help but think that if they spent the same time and energy improving their own products and promotions, they would be much richer men.

For the most part, envy and hate are self-destructive. But they can be very effective motivators. Read the biography of almost any successful person and you will find at least some evidence that they were, at one time or another, motivated by a negative emotion. If, for example, you read Arnold and Me (by Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first American girlfriend), you will understand how much Arnold’s amazing accomplishments were fueled by his childhood impression that he was the least favorite son and needed to “prove” himself.

You can’t erase the envy, resentment, or other base feelings you may have had in the past. If they have motivated you to be successful, you can be thankful for that. But if you want to have a happy life, to prevent them from eventually eating you up, you must find a way to stop hating the people you associate with them.

Find a way to forgive them or, as Jesus recommends, to love them. As Nietzsche said, “learning from one’s enemies is the best way to love them, for it puts one into a grateful mood toward them.”

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Making Our Lives Golden: The Choices We Have

Now that our last child has left home, K and I are talking about getting television service. For about 20 years, we have been without it. The idea was that our children would become better readers without the distraction – and that objective was achieved. All three of our boys are voracious and skillful readers.

But now, as empty nesters, we are thinking that it would be kind of fun to watch some shows together – to spend an hour after dinner, sitting next to one another, laughing at the same things.

To test this hypothesis, we rigged an antenna connection for the set that we’ve been using to play DVDs.

The results of the experiment were mixed. There was something wonderful about watching those programs together – the double pleasure of the experience itself and knowing that your mate is “getting it” too. But when it was over, we found ourselves feeling like we used to when we watched television – a little sad and empty inside. As if we were mourning the time we’d lost.

That got me thinking about how people spend their recreational time – the things they do, and whether that time is spent wisely.

Broadly speaking, you fill your day with four kinds of activities: working, sleeping, eating, and relaxing. And it seems logical to assert that – up to the point of mental or physical exhaustion – the more hours you spend working, the more successful you’ll be.

That said, we must acknowledge that all work and no play makes Jack a dull… or cranky… boy.

You do need some recreation. The question is: How much?

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Emily Dickinson

With her lifetime production of 1,700 poems, Emily Dickinson was one of the most prolific poets of all time.

You could replicate her feat by writing a poem a day (five a week) for less than eight years.

I did it for one year — and during the process my skills definitely improved. I don’t know if any of my poems will ever match her best stuff… but I know now that my good poems are better than her weak ones.

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Groundhogs’ Day

On Wednesday, I wrote about how I transformed from being an underachiever to a motivated successful person.

Most people reading this will think, “I don’t need another motivational speech. What I need is a change of luck.”

I’m here to say that luck had nothing to do with the change in my life. And it needn’t have anything to do with whatever changes you would like to make in yours. Had I waited for luck to come to me, I might be waiting still. My life changed when I got fed up and started planning my success.

You, too, can change your life if you are (a) dissatisfied with the lack of success you’ve had so far; (b) willing to make a big change – and not just a minor adjustment; (c) prepared to start working differently and thinking about yourself as a different kind of person; and (d) willing to start now by preparing yourself to succeed.

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53 Year Old MMA Fighter

I’ve been training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for about 15 years. Last year I won two first place belts at the North American Grappling Championship in the expert division for men over 40 and over 50. I’ve always had a fantasy of fighting MMA but I would never want the stress of preparing for a fight. My fantasy has always been to be asked to fight while sitting ringside, drinking. Apparently this happened to a 53 year old. Check this out.

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Nobody Owes You Anything: From Gardener to Entrepreneur

The average Nicaraguan is born in a shack with a dirt floor. He earns less than $15 a week.

Enrique, my gardener in Nicaragua, does much better than that. But he is still, by U.S. standards, poor. Since I am in daily contact with Enrique when I’m there, I often think about how I can help him earn more money. He wants more material goods — and who can blame him, when he sees how “well” we gringos live (in person and on television)?

Several years ago, I was tempted to give him the few thousand dollars it would have taken to make his house one of the nicest in the hamlet where he lives. But I knew from experience that it would do him no good. It would go as quickly as it came. Given money always does.

Worse, it would reinforce the very bad idea that money comes from me to him, instead of from his own labor and ingenuity.

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Entrepreneurs and Ideologues

Entrepreneurs are interested in future trends for pragmatic reasons. They want to profit from them. The entrepreneur may plan his business around a trend that he expects to develop but he does so tentatively, for he cares more about the health of his business than the accuracy of his prediction.

If, as his business is progressing, he encounters some evidence that suggests the prediction upon which his plan is based is wrong, his immediate reaction is fear – fear for the health of his business. He does not feel personally challenged. He does not feel compelled to refute that evidence.

In other words, the wise entrepreneur analyzes and sometimes acts on future trends but he never weds himself to them.

Ideologues, on the other hand, do just the opposite.

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