I am not big on conspiracy theories.

I’m 100% sure Hillary Clinton was not involved in the global pizza parlor/child slavery industry. I’m 50/50 on JFK.

But so far, I’m thinking that Jeffrey Epstein did not hang himself. Here are the facts I’ve gathered so far. (I haven’t verified them, but I’ve seen them repeated several times.)

Jeffrey Epstein: What Can We Believe? 

 * Fact: On July 23, weeks before his death, Epstein was found unconscious in his cell. He had marks around his neck. Epstein said his cellmate had assaulted him.

* Fact: His cellmate was no ordinary convict. He was a hugely muscular ex-cop facing trial for murdering four people and burying them in his yard.

* Question: Why did Epstein, a high-profile inmate who had incriminating knowledge of extremely powerful business and government figures, have a cellmate?

* Fact: Although there has been no record of the thinking behind it, prison officials decided Epstein’s claim of assault was false and put him on suicide watch.

* Fact:  Six days after being placed on suicide watch, Epstein was returned to the general population. According to Dr. Ziv Cohen, a psychiatrist who evaluates inmates at the Metropolitan Correctional Center where Epstein was being held, “Any case where someone had a proven or suspected serious suicide attempt, that would be unusual to within two to three weeks take them off suicide watch.”

* Fact:  According to the medical examiner’s report, Epstein had several broken bones in his neck, including the hyoid bone – which is far more commonly broken in cases of strangulation than in hangings. And Epstein’s eyes were bulging, which is also more typical of strangulation.

* Fact: The day before his alleged suicide, Epstein’s cellmate was moved to another facility, leaving Epstein alone in his cell.

* Fact: Two guards had been assigned to check on Epstein every 30 minutes. According to prison officials, they stopped doing this around 3:30 am on Saturday, and they didn’t return to his cell until 6:30 am – when they “discovered” his corpse. (Although they allegedly made log entries lying about having routinely visited him.) Per the official party line, they had both fallen asleep… for about three hours.

* Fact: At first it was said that the cellblock’s cameras had malfunctioned, meaning there was no video of Epstein’s possible suicide. Later it was said there was video, but nothing was divulged about what the video did or didn’t show. It’s hard to know what to believe when the stories keep changing so quickly.

Jim Goad reported most of these facts in an article in Taki’s Magazine titled “We Are All Conspiracy Theorists Now. “He concluded:

“What we are commanded to believe – lest we be labeled paranoid conspiracy theorists and therefore domestic-terrorists-in-waiting – is that an absurdly wealthy convicted pedophile with a known penchant for wining and dining the rich and powerful at sex parties where every single move was videotaped and stored for blackmail purposes was allowed to kill himself less than three weeks after a previous alleged suicide attempt because he was taken off suicide watch with no explanation and left alone in his cell at a time when the cameras stopped working and the guards – both of them – conveniently fell asleep. And all this happened at a jail where there hadn’t been a suicide in over 40 years.”

What do you think?