In a letter dated Mar. 5, 1839, 23-year-old Charlotte Brontë declines a marriage proposal with her own version of “It’s not you, it’s me.” 

In the letter to the Reverend Henry Nussey, which is very polite but very clear, she tells him that she has “no personal repugnance to the idea of a union” with him (how charitable). But then she writes:

“I feel convinced that mine is not the sort of disposition calculated to form the happiness of a man like you. It has always been my habit to study the character of those amongst whom I chance to be thrown, and I think I know yours and can imagine what description of woman would suit you for a wife. Her character should not be too marked, ardent and original – her temper should be mild, her piety undoubted, her spirits even and cheerful, and her ‘personal attractions’ sufficient to please your eye and gratify your just pride.

“As for me, you do not know me, I am not this serious, grave, cool-headed individual you suppose – you would think me romantic and [eccentric – you would] say I was satirical and [severe]. [However, I scorn] deceit and will never for the sake of attaining the distinction of matrimony and escaping the stigma of an old maid take a worthy man whom I am conscious I cannot render happy.” (Source: LitHub)