“The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.” – Lee Iacocca

So… You’re Thinking About a Family Reunion? 

Pre-COVID – for more than 30 years, every other year – K and I have sponsored a family gathering of about 40 people. There have always been three generations present. (We might have four next time we do it, if K’s mom comes!)

We call it a “Cousin Camp,” because the original idea was to help all our nieces and nephews get to know one another. (I have about a dozen cousins and never knew any of them.)

I’m happy to say that goal was accomplished. And at the same time, we’ve kept our own generation in better touch. Plus, we’ve had lots of great adventures.

What We Learned 

Let me just tell you some of what we’ve done and what I thought were the pluses and minuses.

What we did: Our first Cousin Camp was in a seaside resort in New England. We rented two houses, next to each other, across from the beach and a quarter mile from town. The good thing about staying in one place for a week is that it’s generally less expensive than being on the move. But there was a bit of an issue about who’s making the mess and who’s cleaning it up, if you know what I mean. Takeaway: Don’t leave the quotidian work to chance. Plan to have it fairly distributed.

What we did: We did a Cousin Camp at an island resort run by one of those tour companies that offered a plethora of outdoor activities. Every day was something else. The younger people had a blast. Some of the older people faded as time passed. A winter Cousin Camp we had in a Colorado ski resort was enjoyed by all, at least in part because there were lots of activities for people of every age and energy capacity. Takeaway: Consider total daily energy requirements when planning the itinerary.

What we did: We did a cruise to Alaska that had the same benefit. (Cruise ships tend to have far more activities than you can possibly do.) But an even bigger plus: The parents never had to worry about where their children were because they had supervised activities practically 24/7. Takeaway: Toddlers require constant attention. Give their parents a break if you want them to feel like they are on vacation.

What we did: The past several Cousin Camps have been mobile, featuring hiking, biking, and rafting in US national parks and in Canada. The downside of trips like this was that we had to pack up and move on every day or two. The upside was that everyone got to experience a wonderful part of America they might not have otherwise. Takeaway:Consider novel locations.

What We Learned (in Short) 

* You need activities. You can’t just hang out together all the time. Planned activities are better. Having guides that plan and direct the activities is better still. But get involved in the planning, so you can make sure that they include everyone.

* The activities should be varied. They should include physical activities like mountain climbing or biking or skiing, but they should also include learning activities like bird spotting or farm tours or cooking classes. Also important: activities for those that can’t or don’t want to participate in the group activities.

* Anything you can do to encourage people to try things they’ve never done before is generally a good idea – so long as you provide equally interesting secondary options to kick back and do nothing.

* Getting everyone together at least once a day is important. The idea, after all, is that you are a family. So find at least one activity that everyone does together. For us, it’s always been dinner. During the day, our family of 40 might break up into 3 or 4 smaller groups, but everyone comes together at dinner.

* Don’t be embarrassed to try silly family activities like karaoke or talent shows. I am not a fan of these sorts of things, but I (and others like me) discovered we enjoyed them.

* If you can afford to hire professionals to help you plan the itinerary and guide you, do it.

I can’t think of anything I’ve ever invested in that has given my family a greater return than our Cousin Camps. If you like the idea of creating deeper connections among your extended family, I’m 90% sure you will have the same experience. And considering all the travel deals out there these days, this is a good time to at least start exploring the possibilities.