The Father-Son Talk 

I was twelve years old. My father and I were on the train, traveling from our home on Long Island to the city, where he was teaching a course in speed reading that I was taking. It was about eight a.m. Which meant the train was full of people, almost exclusively men in suits. What motivated him to do it then and there I will never understand, but it was on that train ride on that morning that my father, the professor, decided to give his eldest boy the father-son talk.

I only heard the first sentence. It was articulated clearly in his pansophic voice. “Mark. Are you aware that there are actually two biological functions for your penis?”

Every other thought or conversation happening in that train car at that moment came to a screeching halt. I was acutely aware that everyone within earshot was focused on us. For them, I’m sure, my father’s lecture was going to be touching and amusing. For me, it was an absolute adolescent nightmare.

I have no recollection of what happened after that. I could not even tell you whether my father continued his biological treatise. I know only that I would have given anything, even my life, if I could have disappeared.

When my boys reached that age, I was reluctant to put them through the same sort of trauma. So, when K told me it was time for the father-son talk, I balked. “I don’t think they want to have that conversation,” I said. “And anyway, they probably know everything already.”

K disagreed. This was a parental duty, she explained. One of the few that I could do better than she. I was always a sucker for that kind of puffery. So, I agreed. But when it came time for the talk, I eschewed my father’s formal approach. I kept the talks short and sweet.

They went something like this:

Me: I think we should have a talk.

Son: What? Is this going to be the talk about sex?

Me: Well, sort of.

Son: Forget it, Dad. I probably know more than you do.

Me: Yes, you probably do.

Son (smiling): Did Mom put you up to this?

Me (frowning): That’s not the point.

Son (laughing): It’s okay, Dad. Consider the conversation complete. You can assure her that I know what I need to know. You did your job. We had the conversation.

Me: I did? We did?

Son (still laughing): Yes, we did.

Me (clearing my throat): Okay, then. Great! Well, I’m glad we were able to discuss it.

That was then. This is now. In six or seven years, my eldest grandson will be old enough to have the father-son talk with his dad, our second son. But the world is a very different place today. Back then, it was relatively simple. And naïve.

So, when Number Two Son has that conversation, I can only wonder how it will go. Hopefully, not like this…

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Pansophic – from the Greek pan (“all”) plus sophy “knowledge”) – means “wise, all-knowing.” As I used it, above: “I only heard the first sentence. It was articulated clearly in his pansophic voice. ‘Mark. Are you aware that there are actually two biological functions for your penis?’”

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This may surprise you… 

In Delray Beach, bike lanes are ubiquitous. The new ones are painted green and have a slightly different surface coating than does the road on which they are painted. They say it’s for safety. And that seems like a good thing. Right?

Well, it would surprise our local regulators to know that bike lanes don’t make bicycling safer. On the contrary, every study that has been done on the subject has concluded that they make it less safe. This was documented ten years ago by industrial engineer John Forester, who published an 800-page book on bike safety titled Effective Cycling.

In fact, most of the things that governments use to make roads safer have the opposite effect than intended.

I remember reading a story about a town in England that didn’t have a budget to install all the stop signs and traffic lights the town elders felt were needed. So, they hired a specialist who convinced them to try something radically different: “shared streets.”

Instead of adding more lights and signs, he suggested they eliminate all of them. The only thing they’d do is alert drivers that they were approaching an intersection by changing the surface of the road.

The result? Traffic accidents went down. Significantly. Including fatalities.

And that is what has been happening in Montgomery, AL, since the city eliminated bike lanes and most traffic lights and signs in the downtown area in favor of European-style cobblestone streets and plazas shared freely by cars, bikes, and pedestrians.

It may seem counterintuitive, but when you understand what happens when you eliminate safety measures, the reduction in accidents makes perfect sense. What happens, says Chris Conway, a city engineer involved in the Montgomery transformation, is that drivers are forced to pay more attention and take more responsibility for their actions. “The more uncomfortable the driver feels,” he says, “the more he is likely to make eye contact on the street with pedestrians, other drivers and to intuitively go slower.”

I’ve seen this play out in my hometown every time the traffic lights black out after a storm. No traffic cops. No signs. Just four- and six-lane roads crisscrossing one another. And guess what? The traffic moves steadily. Drivers look out for pedestrians. Everyone is more alert and courteous.

There’s a lesson here that applies to other things we do to produce desired results. More isn’t always better.

Click here for an article on bike lanes from Forbes.

And click here for a longer article about traffic safety devices and regulations from Scientific American.

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“Peak Stupid!”

I’ve said in previous blog posts that I’m sure NFTs will be widely used in the art world over the next ten years. Not as art pieces themselves, but as digital ID tags that can be attached to each individual piece of art to prevent forgeries. I still think that is true.

But those weren’t the NFTs that made front page news in the art world. The NFTs everyone was talking about were digital art works that were being bought up for millions and tens of millions by digital billionaires.

I had little confidence in that use of NFTs. And what’s happened in recent months has persuaded me that I was right. The NFT-as-art craze has collapsed as quickly as the NFT market generally.

A little video made by a rich guy in Miami could have been a signal that the NFT-as-art boom had gone too far. The video shows him – at a party he threw to announce a collection of Frida Kahlo NFTs – destroying a drawing of hers that was supposedly worth $10 million.

I have a tough time believing that (1) anyone would destroy an original Frida Kahlo and (2) the drawing, if authentic, was worth anything close to what he claimed. In any case, when Number Three Son saw the story, he saw it as the top of the market, calling it “peak stupid.”

He was right. The NFT market crashed just a few weeks later.

Read about it here.

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Two Recommended Netflix Series: The Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Atypical

Extraordinary Attorney Woo 

16 episodes

Original release: June 29 to Aug. 18, 2022

Developed by Kim Chul-yeon

Available only on Netflix

Have you seen Extraordinary Attorney Woo? Several people have recommended it to me recently. It’s a South Korean TV series about Woo Young-woo, a female rookie attorney with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) who gets a job with an upscale law firm. Despite her handicap, she employs her high intelligence and photographic memory to win seemingly impossible cases.

I’ve watched several episodes and can understand why it’s getting so much attention. It is topical. It is charming. The lead actor is pretty. And it follows the standard protocol for a short, dramatic series.

It’s good, but I don’t think it’s nearly as good as Atypical, a US-based series about Sam, a teenager on the spectrum, and his life as he moves from high school to college.

 

Atypical 

Original release: Aug. 11, 2017 to July 9, 2021

4 seasons, 38 episodes

Created by Robia Rashid for Netflix

Starring Jennifer Jason Leigh, Keir Gilchrist, and Brigette Lundy-Paine

Available on various streaming services, including Netflix and Amazon Prime

Although I’d define Extraordinary Attorney Woo as a lawyer drama and Atypical as a family comedy, there are many similarities between the two. In fact, since it was produced five years after Atypical debuted, it’s hard to believe that Woois NOT a knockoff of the American series.

As I said, Atypical is better. It covers more ground (topically, emotionally, and drastically) than Woo, while maintaining the same level of charm. The characters are more nuanced, too. Sam, for example, isn’t solving problems in every episode. In some episodes, he succeeds. In others, he fails. Plus, the secondary characters in Atypical have their own relationships with one another, which are in themselves interesting.

If you’ve seen neither series, you can get a hint of what I’m saying by looking at their trailers.

For Extraordinary Attorney Woo, click here.

For Atypical, click here.

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Are You Making This Mistake? 

At the end of the day, I often watch a movie or episode of a series on my iPad as a sort of reward for my day’s work. I’m not alone in this. About 90% of Americans spend time on their phones or iPads just before going to bed.

There’s problem with that. According to many studies, including a recent one by the University of Haifa, the blue light emitted from such electronic devices reduces melatonin and, therefore, shortens sleep.

The solution is simple. Watch what you want to watch earlier in the evening. But for at least a half-hour before bedtime, read something that is printed. Like an actual book or magazine.

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On the importance of being at least a little bit contrarian:

“Let’s start with a test: Do you have any opinions that you would be reluctant to express in front of a group of your peers? If the answer is no, you might want to stop and think about that. If everything you believe is something you’re supposed to believe, could that possibly be a coincidence? Odds are it isn’t. Odds are you just think whatever you’re told.” – Paul Graham

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inside Paradise Palms…

The conservancy that I’m developing in West Delray Beach, FL, has one of the largest and best-curated palm tree collections in the world, as well as a growing collection of outdoor sculptures, a traditionally styled Japanese tea house, a stock of African cycads, and dozens of other exotic plants and trees.

Here’s one of the palms:

A young “red” Highland Betel Nut Palm

Binomial name: Areca macrocalyx

This species is found in New Guinea, Maluku, and Solomon Island rainforests. It is sometimes referred to as a dwarf palm as it only grows to 12 feet. In the “red” variety (which is considered rare), the crown shaft turns bright red as it grows. Its nut is similar to those of other betel nut species, and is used as a stimulant.

For more information about Paradise Palms, click here.

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“I don’t expect you to remember me, but I met you over a decade ago at an event in Florida where you spoke. We chatted briefly at the bar. And that inspired me. I have read and followed you for years and I just want to say ‘thank you’ and I am glad to hear that you survived your two strokes. It seems to have been a wake-up call and I hope you treat it as such. Take care and be well.” – VM

 

“I’m so – SO – happy to still be reading your blog!” – MS

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Far Out published two lists of “favorite songs” – one from Brian Wilson and the other from Robert Downey Jr. I’d have thought that I would much prefer to be friends with Robert Downey Jr., but maybe I was wrong. I thought Brian Wilson’s picks were much closer to my own.

To read about Robert Downey Jr’s favorites, click here.

To read about Brian Wilson’s, click here.

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