What I Believe: About Entitlement

It’s unfortunate, but it seems to be a universal trait.

I’m talking about Homo sapiens’ ability to feel entitled to anything we become accustomed to. Whether we deserve it or not.

I noticed this in business many years ago. I’d make a deal with a group publisher that consisted of a good base salary and a bonus based on a profit percentage. Sometimes, through no fault of the publisher, profits were less than expected. So, I gifted them an unearned extra bonus as a gesture of good faith. Of course, they were grateful for that. And I thought, “Well, that’s that.” But what I discovered the next time profits were down, and I didn’t give them a bump because I felt they could have done more, they were upset. They felt like I was cheating them. They felt entitled to a bonus they were never promised and didn’t earn.

I noticed this again when raising children. If ever I relaxed on a rule – say, allowing them to play a little longer before bedtime – the next day, they would feel wronged if I insisted on going back to the scheduled bedtime.

I discovered it yet again when I sponsored a baseball team in Nicaragua. The ballplayers were very grateful for their new uniforms in year one. But when they heard that I expected them to wear the same uniforms in year two, they were outraged. They threatened to go on strike unless I gave them new ones. I didn’t. They gave in.

This happens in every sort of charitable giving, whether it’s through an institution, individual, or the state. The definition of charity is giving someone something they did not earn. When you give a panhandler a few dollars for whatever need he claims to have, it’s very clear to you that what you are doing is a voluntary act. That he is not entitled to your money. And so, you expect him to be grateful.

And when you give a panhandler a dollar bill, like I did a few months ago, and she looks at it with disgust and tears it up and throws it in your face because you gave her a five-dollar bill the previous day, that’s entitlement. And that’s bad.

I was talking about this to a friend and colleague at Rancho Santana last night, and he sent me this clip of a conversation between Conan O’Brien and Louis CK that puts it in a humorous light.